


Adventures Of The Terrible Bird

by DeuBun



Category: One Piece
Genre: Birds, Funny, Hijinks & Shenanigans, Humor, One Piece Universe, Shirohige Kaizoku-dan | Whitebeard Pirates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-19
Updated: 2021-01-19
Packaged: 2021-03-18 02:29:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,600
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28859592
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeuBun/pseuds/DeuBun
Summary: (based on many conversations about Marco being a terrible bird)When Marco overworks himself he goes full bird. Bird mind, and bird personality. Though he is far from sweet, and is actually the complete opposite.
Comments: 30
Kudos: 99





	Adventures Of The Terrible Bird

**Author's Note:**

> This is for a zine app so I had to stay around a word limit. Will love to do Terrible Bird 2 Electric Boogaloo some day to show the things I didn't get to im this

Marco had overworked himself again. Hunched over his desk as he completed another stack of paperwork, and maps that needed to be done. Yet, no matter how many hours he poured in it always seemed to just increase in size. Witchcraft, he swore. 

At the late hours of the night he finally decides to turn it in. Sluggishly making his way down the quiet halls, and stretching his poor sore muscles. Stiff limbs popping loudly as the noise bounced across the wooden walls. He needed a chiropractor, but that would have to wait until morning. He fell asleep the moment his head hit the pillow, but it wasn't Marco who had woken up. 

It was the phoenix. 

The moment the sunlight shone through the small window the phoenix had awoken. Moving his small head from where it was sitting snugly inside his wing, and gracefully stretching his long neck. With a ruffle of his blue feathers he had realized something incredibly wrong. He was in a place he did not like. The phoenix was angry, and he was going to make it everyone’s problem. 

“YOI!” With a screech, and a flap of his wings he had declared war! He burst from his spot on the bed, and flew right to where the light was coming from. The sun was there, so that must mean it was a way outside. Yes! He will get to sun, and find his captors. Evil humans will pay! Except, that didn't happen. As he just flew face first into the window at full speed. He stopped, and hopped back to his feet like a blue feathery tornado. 

What was that? He craned his long neck to the one that hurt him. Staring at the strange, invisible, barrier that had dared to stop his escape. One peck spooking the bird as he screamed, and flapped his feathers in anger. It was magic! He sent a hiss its way. 

“What in the world? Marco, what are you doing in here?” His neck straightened up when he heard the voice. A human! Or in other terms, the phoenix’s next victim. The door slowly opened, and the poor soul then peaked in. Confused eyes scanning the room for any sign of the first commander. Instead, they sadly were met with a face full of blue feathers. 

“YOI! YOI!” He cried in victory as he knocked puny human down. He stood on their (not actually) dead body as he flapped his wings as a show of dominance! No one can stop the phoenix! He was unstoppable! With his new found freedom he made a run for it. Talons hitting wood as he ran across the halls at top speed. Top speed being however fast a waddling goose could go at a given time. He was free, and now he may smite all the fools who had dared try to contain him! 

“YYYOOOIII!” The moment he had found himself on deck he yelled. Wings flapping, and talons stomping on the wooden floor as all eyes turned to his form. A few faces growing pale at the sight of the blue monstrosity in their presence. 

“Oh god, please no.” 

“Not again. Did Marco overwork himself last night?” 

“I hope he’s just messing with us here.” 

Yes! They were trembling beneath his mighty form! Shake in fear tiny humans! He will show no mercy, and shall get his revenge! 

“Ok funky goose get your ass over here.” He squawked in shock when all of the sudden he was lifted from the ground. Long neck swinging back, and forth as he tried to find the source of this preposterous situation. Who dared remove him from his war path!? 

“Geez, I told you to get some rest earlier! When will you learn Marco?” Finally the phoenix’s head moved so he could stare his captor eye to eye. There was a man with strange brown hair styled up like a balloon, and the phoenix had the urge to nest within it as he stared. The human sighed, and then shook his head in disappointment. Hey! He should be pleased to be touching him! If anyone was supposed to be disappointed it should be the phoenix! He was just an ugly human after all! 

He screamed, and then began to nip at the offending hands. He will murder this human for his treason against the mighty phoenix! Hissing in joy when he saw a little blood come off the terrible human’s finger! 

“Geez Marco! Calm down. You're such a little shit when you go full bird.” Once the pain got too bad he released the furious ball of blue feathers. Watching with distaste as he strutted and screamed at all the watching eyes of their brothers. Though the phoenix had no idea these were his brothers at the moment in time. 

“Ok, where's the bird time out bag!?” Now the human had made a mistake at this point. He had turned his back to the phoenix! He shall enact his punishment for the human’s mistreatment of him! He slowly inched forward, neck elongated as he prepared himself for his attack. And then, he pounced. Nipping the man right on his butt before running in the opposite direction, and away from the angry yells of the strange balloon man. The man has felt his wrath, and he had no plans in stopping! Chirping happily as a few pirates flinched the moment he ran past them. Yes! He was god! 

“You should have seen me Deuce! The way I blasted that guy away!” The phoenix was pulled away by the sound of a new voice. Who was that? Now the phoenix normally could care less, but the moment he saw something shiny he decided it was all his business. 

He hissed, and then crouched down so he could expertly make his way to where the man was standing. Orange hat perched on his head that acted like a beacon for the bird. Then, in a blink of an eye he bursted forth. Grabbing a hold of the shiny dagger, and pulling with all his might. This was his dagger! HIS! The human should just give it up right now! 

“M-Marco!? What are you doing!? Hey! Let go!” No! Human should let go! Not the phoenix! This was his shiny now! With one last tug he pulled it off the guy’s hip, and ran with his treasure to a special secret spot. Or, better known as, behind a cluster of barrels that the phoenix now claimed as his nest. 

“Thatch! What's wrong with him!?” Nothing was wrong with phoenix! Phoenix was king! 

“Sometimes when he overworks himself he defaults to the natural bird brain of the phoenix. We don't know how that works, it just happens. He’ll be back to normal tomorrow at least.” Phoenix was normal! How dare this Thatch say otherwise! He sent a hiss in their direction, and glared as they just stared at him with tired eyes. “Well, hopefully he's his normal self tomorrow.” 

Everything seemed to have returned to some normalcy. Pirates running about, and the bright blue ball of feathers enjoying his spot away from it all. Beak chewing happily on the little diamonds as he basked in his new treasure. Yes, his shiny. He liked this shiny. Though now he wants more shinies. Enough shinies to populate his nest like a treasure wonderland. 

“Yoi!” He peeked his head out. Neck working like a telescope as he tried to spot his next victim. A few seemed to have noticed, and scurried away quickly to avoid the gaze of the terrible bird. Everyone knew to avoid Marco when he was like. All but the bird himself of course.

That's when he saw him, Deuce. The blue haired man leaning against a nearby railing and trying to scribble something within his tiny journal. To the Whitebeards it was a normal sight, but to the phoenix it was an opening. 

He flew up to the top of the barrels, and glared down the unsuspecting victim. The blue man had a shiny pen, and he wanted the shiny pen. With the confidence of a king he strutted across the deck. Eyes trained onto the only thing going through his tiny little walnut brain. He stopped, and stared up at the man. Not thinking for a second of what will even happen if he tried to take such a thing. 

“Yoi!” Quickly he jumped up, and grabbed the pen in between his beak. Wings flapping, and feathers flying all over the place as he secured his newest treasure. Yes! His shiny! His pen! His his his! 

“H-Hey! Give that back!” No! Give to him! He flapped his wings at him in a threatening way, and stomped his feet as a sign for the dumb human to back off! No one touches treasure once the phoenix has it! No siree! He claimed it! 

“Give it up. He isn't ever going to let that go now.” With a huff the bird made a run for it. Feet hitting the hard wood like a jackhammer as he made his way to hide the new wonder in his nest. Carefully tucking it next to the dagger with care, and practice. Cozy pen! Good pen! He liked this pen! He scratched the floor happily, and marked his territory so no other bird will dare to land in his vicinity. 

Now he just needed some nesting material. 

He left his cave. Neck swinging from side to side as he searched for precious soft materials to build upon. Only the best! Though he did not see any soft things. No fuzzies? He wanted fuzzies for nest! With an annoyed chortle he began to move deeper across the deck. Eyes on the lookout for the perfect piece, and wanting more than anything to build the best nest he possibly could. Bird was king! And king needed the best! 

While he was walking he had found himself within the dining hall. Its wooden walls, and floors giving it a monochromatic look that the bird did not care about whatsoever. Instead, he zoned completely on a nice sound that was wafting through the room. Singing? Not bird singing. Bird singing was better! Phoenix sang much better than human! 

He waddled to where the noise was, and peeked through a pair of double doors to see the weird hair human dancing about the kitchen. Singing a sea shanty, and preparing something on the stove that the phoenix couldn't discern. He didn't care what it was to exact, but it did smell nice. Yet, that isn't what had caught his attention the most. 

Eggs! There were eggs within the big box! Large, and white like ones the phoenix can eat and lay on. He wanted to lay on those eggs! His eggs! He wanted eggs! With a happy screech he ran to the box. Wings flapping as his eyes scanned each uniform little orb in wonder. He liked these eggs. Very good eggs! 

“Yoi yoi!” With lightning fast reflexes he grabbed an egg, and swallowed it whole. Very good egg! He shall grab more! 

“H-Hey! You put those down!” Thatch had finally noticed his little escapade, spoon in his hand waving about as he tried to force the annoying bird away from the merchandise. The phoenix just growled at him. Holding several eggs within his beak, and cheeks as he did so. How dare he! His eggs! “Drop them!” The man had lunged for him, but the bird easily dodged. Feathers now all over the kitchen floor, and tables. Marking so the world could see he was there. 

He bolted right away. Like a roadrunner getting away from a predator he was fast, and gone in a blink of an eye. Pride filled the bird as he escaped with his eggs without even a scratch on him. Yes! His eggs! With a happy chirp he gently dropped them next to his other treasures. The nest was starting to look good! Yes, good nest! Perfect for king! 

“Well! You're having a good time my son.” A shadow then swallowed the entire deck whole. Blocking the sun, and any source of light that the bird could make out. His feathers ruffling, and standing on their ends as instincts ran wild. Darkness meant storm, and storm was bad. Instead he found his feet dangling beneath him, and hands on his body. Out of everything he could have done he decided he was going to scream. 

“Yoooiii! YOI!” he kicked, and used his beak to nip at the offending hands that had trapped him. No one traps the phoenix! That is punishable by death! The bird only got angrier as the one imprisoning him refused to release his form. Only for him to stop in his tracks as a booming laughter shook him to his feathers. 

“I’m glad you still have your spirit Marco! That's my boy!” When the phoenix finally craned his long neck to see who could create such a noise he was in absolutely shock. That was a big human! Large crescent mustache, and giant face seemed like a predator to him. One big finger then reached down to pet the bird, causing a happy little chirp to reverberate in his throat. He liked this human! Good human! Big human can protect him! Very good servant! 

“Yoi!” He flapped his wings until he was finally placed down. Puffing out his chest, and glaring up at the large man that held his hostage. He can be good slave to the phoenix, but that did not mean he could touch him! No touching! 

“Alright alright. How about you go back to your nest.” The large finger patted him on the head again, and the bird just sent a nip his way in annoyance. No touching! Bad human! “I’m sorry, you never let your old man pet you though. Here, a little gift for my boy.” Something glittered in the corner of his eye, and when the boy turned he screamed in joy. Yes! A shiny! Golden treasure! 

“Yoi!” He grabbed the glittering ring with his beak, and waddled off to where his nest was starting to form. He had decided now he liked this human, but he will probably forget such a thing in a few minutes anyway. 

“Pops! Stop spoiling him! Now he’ll think it's ok to steal from us!” Bird ignored insignificant humans. Those humans were just slaves to the phoenix! Bird was better than them! 

“Now, making him happy doesn't hurt anyone.” He hurt all, and bird enjoyed it! All bow to him! A loud snore then snapped him away from his nest, and forced his neck to stare at a nearby body that had parked itself near his area. Bad human! He marked this territory! 

With an angry growl he stomped right up to the human. Orange hat over his eyes, and messy black hair all over the place. Bad human! Terrible human! The phoenix used his beak to nip at the boy’s skin, but instead found an incredible discovery. He was oozing a nice, comforting, heat. He rubbed his head against the man’s stomach, and purred in delight at the cozy feeling. Better than nest! Very safe, and nice! 

“Yoi!” He jumped up onto the man’s stomach, and walked in a few circles before settling down. Tucking his head into his wing as he cooed in delight. The warmth spreading throughout his body, and making his feathers tingle in joy. This human was nice, and he liked this human. And he was sure to not forget that this time.


End file.
